my life could go one of these four ways from here
hold on desperately to those whom i hold dear
i could give up on them
or find new kinds of time to give her
or i could end it all
and overdose on that which i deliver
it started when i got a job offer from a friend
put my education to use
deliver pills across the country
getting paid to travel
an opportunity to lock up the noose
but my wife told me i was away for too long
said our children found a father in her
so to make it easier for them
she cut me off
and my break lights made room for a family to occur
but my three kids
they might be my one saving grace
if they loved me back
maybe i could save face
at family dinners
taking all-too-frequent bathroom breaks
and i wipe my tears with tissues
right next to my favorite kind of toothpaste
i've heavily considered driving this truck of mine into a river
i'm sure our customers can wait
'cause no matter what diseases pieces of chemicals can cure
they don't compare to the damage my actions have made
and when the 4 way lights are the only conversation
that you get to have
perhaps the world wouldn't really mind at all
if you were replaced by a better man
who read your children stories
and sent your wife a daily call when he was out
i wish that this truck weighed less than it does now
seatbelt sign blinking
i've learned to tune it out
too anxious to go outside
take weeks to prepare for family meetings
i only continue to live
because it is my default state of being
..
there's a four way light inside of you
that someone will see
in the future i assume
is where you will meet
on the road to somewhere
it starts with four beams
it won't be too long before
you're bursting at the seams
oh, you're in love
and i know somewhere up above
that seat
is someone who once considered crashing in the grass
your medicine has been delivered
it's in Her grasp
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