1. |
Music is Lonely
05:17
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I'm not hungry
I'm not falling
For the idea as a result of my actions
I can change
My surroundings
Are unchanging
And unflinching, I lean towards
The wind, as it carries me
But music is so lonely now
I'm not hungry
As I'm falling
The past me
I hope he was right, floating by the cliffside
Echoing complaints of seclusion
As I elude, what I occlude soothes you
For what do I peruse these nude truths?
Tt doesn't behoove me
To spill my organ
Mine not yours
But eat up my hors d'oeuvres
Used to bring us so much closer
Now, creates confusion
Now music is seclusion
Each minute that I spend
Writing these thoughts down, playing this right now
Lost to those around me, likely they lack the time to see
But right below me I see leaves over a tree
It fades
A vast sandstone desert opens before my eyes
The wind opens, my cheeks wide, The child in me dies, and I cut my hair
Change my dress, address myself as Mr. and forget the rest
The name is obfuscation, this is a mess
Vestigial lies my musicality
Cancerous is normality
An infrared catastrophe
Cause music is so lonely now
Wanna keep it around but I don't know how
What used to be cause for connection is my hiding place
With every hour spent I see a friend it could erase
So music is too lonely now
Maybe I've finally lost my touch.
It's too much
(Music is lonely)
I won't make the time for deeper truths
I won't make the time to relive my youth
I won't make the time to dig up the past
I won't make the time so I will start last
I don't have time to tincture up my new sound
I don't have the time to finally change my pronouns
I don't have the time for my all my best laid plans
I don't want to make music any more.
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2. |
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3. |
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Greetings
Welcome to the simulation
Of a lifetime
Make every choice
Live out every option
And revert to a past save
Be your own hero
Welcome to the simulation
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4. |
Dad Culture De Luxe
03:02
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I don't know you
You could be perfect
I don't know you
You could still be perfect
I don't know you
Isn't that sweet?
I don't know you
But I know I love your poetry
I don't know you
At least not much at all
I don't know you
Maybe I saw you around for one fall
I don't know you
If I went to that Dad Culture show
Maybe I'd know you
But that was over four years ago
I don't know you
But I like your poetry
We like each other's posts
I think that's good enough for me
I don't know you
You fill me with hope
Ignorant, empty hope
You fill me with real hope
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5. |
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6. |
Scared Until I Die
04:32
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I'll be scared for the rest of my life
I'll be scared until I die
Why don't they like me?!?!?
I scream proudly over the mountaintop,
"These aren't my people!!!"
Did they hear me?
It was up to them to change my mind!
Now I call from behind
I didn't go to class the other day
My professor thought I was angry at him
But I was just sleeping
I'll be scared until I die
For the rest of my life
I'll be scared until I die
Everyone is over it
They know I fetishize my suffering
Struggling, in class my mind buffering
Huddling around for warmth
I'm on the outside as my teeth chatter
Unpleasant noise, the loudest in the room
I don't command an audience
Not anymore
Not the way I used to,
Not since I became the boy
Who's always sorry for himself
The least attractive thing to do would be to try to help
If you like this
Darling, if you like this
You might be a bigger failure than I
I'll be scared until I die
All my life
I'll be scared until I die
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7. |
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This is a time capsule to my true love
The one that I always was thinking of
Oh sorry, let me put on my mask
*I hit my tuner by mistake*
Now that I feel better
Now that I feel better
Do you want to be my one and only true love?
Fu-... *I did it again! >:(*
Do you ever think of me?
I think you do.
But do you ever think of me?
Do you think of who I was
Before I met you, dear?
Every sad, bad thing I do
Is part of a time capsule story for my true love.
Time capsule for my true love...
Time capsule,
It's a time capsule for you.
Everything I do is a time capsule.
Everything I do is a time capsule for you.
Everything I do is a time capsule.
Everything I do is a time capsule for you.
My life will only start with you.
My life starts when I meet you.
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8. |
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I'm not hungry
Metaphorically
But my appetite for food is up
I gained a lot of weight
Your failure makes mine easier to take
But makes my success all the sweeter
I still got it
I wanted to make a band
But I have no friends for which to build something meaningful with
I wanted to make a band
I still want to make a band
You've been a great audience!!
Except there's no audience at all!!!!?!!?!!
I'm alone in the sunroom of the house that I don't pay nearly enough for
A lot of my friends
Not close friends but friends that I've made here
Pay almost twice for something not nearly as good
I'm so lucky to have this room all to myself
Most of the time
It gets pretty cold over the winter but we have space heaters for that, you know?
I'll probably {redacted} songs after I've had time to actually practice them and rehearse them
And not just write them
And don't need to read the lyrics off my phone that's on a fuckin' mic stand right next to me that has a microphone on it
But it's not recording
Wouldn't it be crazy if it was?
That's probably not funny to you if you're not in the room
And nobody's in the room
I wish somebody was in the room that I could play off of
I'll be happy again
I always have been
I can be happy again
But I'm not happy right now
I wouldn't be happy feeling how I feel right now for the rest of my life
No I wouldn't.
I wouldn't feel happy with that
I wouldn't feel happy with that
Life is just a few rounds of brief respite from feeling the way I feel right now
Hope I get another one
Hope there's another one out there for me
Another respite from business as usual
It's like my dad said
"Survival is always positive."
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Joey Small Iowa City, Iowa
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