Hi there, what's up, my name's Alex
The great-est things in the world have no malice
And I heard that you are new to college
So if you need some new friends here's some knowledge

Join an organization where you pay to play
Make sure you show up when it's bid day
I swear, here we're all one in the same
All you need to do is play some party games

Like get down on all fours for the frat boys
Bark like a dog until you feel like a frat toy
And who could forget, clean the throw-up bucket
And don't you dare speak about this in public

Yeah! No food until you finish the whole stack
Drink until you forget what you now lack
We'll drive you miles away
And you'll have to find your way back

Here's a story but I can only tell you a bit
A college group who was into some really fucked up shit
I wrote a post about it, yeah I tried to make it big
So I shared it to a local comedy Facebook page

Fuck you, Overheard @ SUNY Potsdam
Posted my shit, then got banned, god damn!
Messaged the admins like "what the hell?"
And received the well-thought-out response of

"Well, there's zero tolerance for not following the rules. That post doesn't belong. End of story"

*Laughter*
Wow we got a big boy over here
Big dick, big important man
This guy knows that the sanctity of a meme Facebook group based out of a small public school in the north country is more important than protecting countless people from the life-ruining effects of hazing
Fuck you

This whole thing is fucking absurd
If you're out there, I hope you hear every word
And let it sink down deeply into your core
Maybe reach the old you that doesn't come out any more

Maybe she died after they courted her
The ghost of whom looms over us like an orbiter
After all the shit that she went through? She lost us too
I'm sure that I must have made her feel used

They're not all out here causing welts
But you'll ruin the whole thing for everyone else
A mafia that the school gives a house to
Can't speak out unless you want them to harm you

Pay to get in, pay to get out
With loosing all your friends to the blacklist, shout
To the heavens if you're a victim because you're worth that
Fuck your sisters, take a friend over herd chat

If you're not allowed to speak to others about what happens in your organization, leave.

When my relationship ended, I was feeling hindered
So I downloaded this app called tinder
For love or sex, I didn't really intend
Honestly I downloaded it to make some friends

Alright, you all heard this story
Pretty soon he'll be busy whoring out
But everyone was way too boring
No connection like the Wi-Fi is snoring

But that said, I did meet a couple cool girls
Ones who could be friends, but not in this world
Because when I signed in this one time
I got an error message that would then define

My experience, I called support
Turned out there must have been some mass report
Ohh
It's the sorority.

Because I went to the school, and gave 'em evidence
Now your whole system's broke no remnants
And if you're in it, you'll know that it's deranged
When I say they got you tied down with a daisy chain

And guess what, that's not even the fun kind
Hard to feel sorry for them when they got a dumb mind
You're walking on eggshells, not talking kinder
Hope it cracks when I start yellin' tinber