Hello!
Have you ever been having protected sex
And thought "what if this experience was tailored to my one true unique pecker?"
Well now it can be

It's the new custom condom company, The Shoe That Fits
For a small fee, you get a custom hat for your D
Go online, to The Shoe That Fits "dot com"
Design the protection that you'll use when you feel like a CD-ROM

We got all colors, shapes, flavors, and sizes
A miracle mile of massive to tiny prick houses
Even upload your own company logo
Pass 'em out at your business lunch, yes homo

Don't you know bro? This Co, is so, ahead of the time
Even my rhymes can't keep up, now they're falling behind
If you are falling in behinds, you best not be daft
Wear a rubber with Mike Pence's face on the shaft

Land lubbers and band clubbers, we gotcho back
We even have a product for those who don't have a sack
Come one, come all, no matter what we'll fit em
It's the Vistaprint for your dick, let's get em

The Shoe That Fits
Except it's a shoe for your dick
Fitted to your measurements

The Shoe That Fits
Everyone could use something like this
So check us out, I insist

HEY TOM
uh hey man
DO YOU OFTEN HAVE SEX WHILE WEARING A CONDOM, AND WISH THAT YOU COULD OWN CONDOMS THAT PERFECTLY EXPRESS YOUR PERSONALITY AND ARE PERSONALLY FITTED TO YOUR PEEN"
what do you mean?

ITS THE SHOE THAT FITS

We got a designing page on our site
Even send you a sample to make sure it feels right
And if you're feeling like you need to breath
We also have internals that can fit in between

We have EVERYTHING that you could EVER WANT
Use ANY IMAGE or ANY FONT
Even dip it fondue, I wouldn't but do you
I wouldn't do you if you weren't wearing our condoms

They start at a simple 5 dollars a piece
If you order more than ten, you can get em for three
We supply the Boris's Johnson for top dolla
They're perfect inside an orifice or a piñata

When shit is getting hotta, and your partner is botha'd
By boring old plain-colored lame cock collars
Get yourself a custom contraceptive, knowledge is power
And knowledge is a weapon hope that you all learned your lesson

Custom hats for your dick
Yeah thats right, it's the shit
We got the studs, got the ribbs
I don't know what that is (but we got the)

Hats for your dick
Yeah, you know what it is
It's The Shoe That Fits, our new business
Hey Tom, do you have questions?

*something about self-defense condoms, idk*

The Shoe That Fits
Except it's a shoe for your dick
Fitted to your measurements

The Shoe That Fits
Everyone could use something like this
So check us out, we insist